In short, doctor had to cut through the body just outside the anus spread and attack the thing, it was so complex. Banded two areas higher up. Recovering this week. Blood bottom right now, but I'll take it. Last week and a half I was essentially bed bound. Turns out the hemorrhoid got a blood clot, and that is what blew it up. And it wasn't prolapsing, it was actually pushing through the pelvic floor lateral to the anus, necrosing the tissue as it was trying to breach.
Bowel movements would set that thing into Defcon 1, and I essentially went into a true water fast for a week and a half. Went from 274.9 to 262.4. Not all of it fat, unfortunately. But I'm in a better place now. Taking off the rest of the week to recover. Doc says it will take one or more visits to put paid to it, but I'm saying, ya, this battle has started, and I ain't quitting until I blow the nazi symbol off of the Reichstag.
PS, hope you were eating while reading...