THE SNUGBUS EXPRESS

Those Chinese...

fxckers definitely gave some kind of flu. Muscles ache, been having stomach problems all day, and I think I just shxt out half my internal organs. Having massive reflux now too. took five Zantac and nothing. Had to keep chewing tums all day and took a Pepcid. Not as bad now.
I definitely have an ear infection now, both ears are full of fluid and the pressure on the left side was so bad I was sure my ear drum was going to rupture.
I have lost my voice and have a terrible sore throat as well. Took two different types of cold pills and used nasal spray and the ear is now feeling a little better. My tinnitus is now horrifically loud though, can't hear for shxt.
Looking back on it, I think this everyone's fault but mine. If I hadn't been doing a public service reviewing that shxtty Birds of Prey movie the Chinese wouldn't have infected me with a biological weapon, and my asshole wouldn't be floating in the toilet right now.
I don't do sick well. I wish I had some of that shxt they give you when you get the scope shoved up your ass. At least I wouldn't remember any of it and I would just wake up when it's over. Jeebus, even a little codine cough syrup would be nice.
If I die, toss me in a wood chipper and throw what's left of my infected remains into the Virginia Governor's face.

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